Lately I’ve remembered to snarl,
to bare my teeth,
to growl and hiss.
I first remembered
during a demonstration Somatic Experiencing therapy session
in front of 60 people
(snarling in public)
while telling my story of a 5-year-old’s trauma
and claiming my present day power to threaten and defend.
Then I re-remembered while walking
past an animal trap in the grass
that had previously triggered me
over and over.
Then I remembered again
while walking past a road drain
that had associated itself
with my neglected cat Jennie
and the “taken” scene from “It”
and my fear that I’d chased a baby raccoon to its death one night.
Then I snarled again
at the Rottler man
who laid the trap.
And as I snarled
my 5-year-old’s fear and fragility
transformed into my dangerous old woman,
stepping forward toward that which isn’t right
and giving it a name.
I bared my teeth
at the careless,
and at the ones who intentionally planted fear for money.
I reclaimed my snarl
because fear became tiresome
and because it’s about bloody time!
- Why am I entering into the Gift Economy? - September 13, 2019
- Starting a New Chapter with Backdraft - September 11, 2019
- Remembering to Snarl - September 6, 2019
- On Flight - August 17, 2019
- Finding community, grieving disconnection, taking care of my body, and teaching MSC with chronic fatigue - August 10, 2019